ADHD’s secondary characteristics
ADHD is much more than inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity
Over time, people with ADHD may develop secondary characteristics, or patterns and behaviors arising from primary symptoms. These include:
Although they’re often misunderstood and overlooked, secondary traits of ADHD, also known as coexisting conditions or comorbidities, can have a significant effect on emotional wellbeing, relationships, academics, work performance and everyday life.
Learning about secondary characteristics leads to improved support for students, families and educators navigating the ADHD journey.
Perfectionism
It may sound surprising, but many individuals with ADHD struggle with perfectionism. This often comes from the frustration of not being able to meet expectations, either their own or others’.
What causes perfectionism?
The core symptoms of ADHD, difficulty with attention, follow-through, and organization, can make completing tasks feel daunting. In response, a person might set extreme standards as a way to avoid making mistakes or being judged for “not trying hard enough.” So, as soon as an everyday tasks becomes overwhelming or disorganized, a person with ADHD may overcompensate by setting unrealistically high standards for the end result.
The consequences of perfectionism
When tasks may never feel “good enough” to be considered completed, self-esteem can take a hit. As a result and over time, perfectionism can lead to:
chronic procrastination
self-criticism
anxiety
burnout
Ways to manage perfectionism
Perfectionism often arises from a fear of failure and/or masking.
To help manage feelings of perfectionism:
break tasks into smaller, manageable steps
practice self-compassion
focus on progress, rather than perfection or completion
encourage flexible thinking
Relationships and ADHD
ADHD can affect more than academics or work, it also shows up in relationships. Difficulties with emotional regulation, forgetfulness, and impulsivity can make maintaining friendships, romantic relationships, or family bonds a challenge.
Why and how does ADHD affect relationships?
When someone struggles to focus during conversations, forgets important dates, or interrupts unintentionally, others may feel unheard or unimportant, even if that’s not the intent.
This can lead to conflict, feelings of isolation, or strained communication. Over time, the person with ADHD may feel discouraged or misunderstood, while loved ones may interpret the behaviour as disinterest.
How to create healthy ADHD relationships
• Learning and teaching emotional regulation skills
• Using reminders and routines for social commitments
• Practicing active listening and self-awareness
• Building supportive, understanding relationships
Remember!
Relationship struggles aren’t about a lack of care. They’re about underlying executive function challenges.
